Ep.146: Practicing Peace when Christmas is really hard

Caitlin:

Welcome to the Woven Well Podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Estes. I'm a certified fertility care practitioner with a master of divinity degree. Each episode will cover a topic that helps educate and empower you and your fertility while honoring the deep connection your fertility has with your faith. Let's get started.

Caitlin:

Welcome back to the Woven Well podcast and Merry Christmas. This is airing right before Christmas, and so you may be listening to it as you are wrapping presents or preparing for an event. Maybe you're cooking in the kitchen. But I just want to acknowledge that while this is a meaningful and magical season--you know, I'm a big fan of Christmas movies and Christmas twinkling lights and hot chocolate and all of the wonderful things that go along with this time of year--it can also be a time of year that feels incredibly isolating, and sometimes because of everything going on underneath the surface a little bit heartbreaking. I have clients who are really sad about the fact that they have to pause their fertility treatments or they can't make any progress with their restorative reproductive medical professionals because of the holidays. I have clients who have a very, very stressful schedule.

Caitlin:

They have lots of events and expectations. Their kids' teachers want this and that, and they need to take time off work, but they don't have that available. So the practicalities involved can be very stressful. I've got new clients who are, well, they're clients who are newly married, and they're sort of dreading the questions that they're going to get from family and friends about whether or not they're going to have a baby and are they pregnant yet? And those kind of questions. Which, just for the record, please don't ever ask anyone that. Okay? And I've got clients who are really disappointed that they're not pregnant for the holidays. Maybe they were hoping to share that news at Christmas, and it just feels devastating that that hasn't yet happened. Or women who are struggling with physical illness, maybe chronic illness, or something specific to the reproductive health system that's causing them a lot of pain, discomfort, frustration over why healing hasn't come.

Caitlin:

And for some reason, right here around Christmas, these things hit home a little bit differently. I feel like they feel maybe a little bit more painful than they would on a random Tuesday in May. You know? So I thought maybe for today it could be helpful to have a little quiet practice together, to remember that this moment in time is not about others' expectations or even our own frustrations, or even the hope for what may come this season of love and joy and peace and hope can only be found when we set our eyes and hearts on Christ born to us in flesh. So remembering that birth and remembering all it has to offer to us, so Christ came to us so that we might have true hope, eternal not in our circumstances and their outcomes, but in our God who lives and reigns forever.

Caitlin:

So often we can get so laser focused on the work that we're doing, maybe to feel better, to heal some reproductive health issues that we have going on, or to move forward in life, achieve some goals. But this is a reminder that no matter the situations around us, God is faithful to us right here, right now. And one of the ways that we experience that is through the birth of our Savior. So if you would like to do this with us, you know, not just me, but our little Woven community here of fellow women seeking God in the midst of their fertility questions as well, then we're going to take just a moment to connect with God physically, mentally, spiritually, and remember this beautiful gift of Christmas. So I think it can be helpful to start with some deep breaths because this time of year, any opportunity we can get to have a few quiet moments and deep breaths, I think are a good thing.

Caitlin:

So we can take a few breaths in and out, in and out. Maybe we think about connecting with our bodies, reminder that our bodies are good. We have some previous episodes on that if you need an extra reminder about that. So connecting with our physical bodies as we remember the physical body born of Mary. So maybe we put our feet on the floor so we connect with what's around us. Maybe our hands are comfortably in our lap or on armrests if we're in a chair with those. I like to close my eyes while I do these deep breathing exercises, so maybe you close your eyes as well. And so we breathe in and we breathe back out.

Caitlin:

And as we do that, I'm going to read a short section of Luke about Christ's birth. Luke 2:4-20: "So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea to Bethlehem, the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child while they were there. The time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger because there was no guest room available for them. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shown all around them, and they were terrified.

Caitlin:

But the angel said to them, do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you. He is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you. You'll find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger. Suddenly, a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel praising God and saying, glory to God in the highest heaven and on earth, peace to those on whom his favor rests. When the angel had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph and the baby who was lying in the manger. When they'd seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child. And all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherd said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told. This is the word of the Lord."

Caitlin:

Now we are all experiencing some sort of pain and suffering. It may be unmet expectations or terrible disappointments. Maybe it is a wild and crazy schedule. You're at the end of your rope and you just don't know if you can make it through this season. But through each change in our life, each rollercoaster of emotions, we can hold fast to the promise given through the birth of the Messiah of Emmanuel. God with us, just his very birth reminds us that we're never alone. God has committed himself to us, and in fact, gone on to sacrifice his only son for our sake and our thriving. And so we too can rejoice as the angels did, and we can explore this good gift with curiosity like the shepherds. And like Mary, we can ponder this miracle and look expectantly to what God will do in our own lives and our own hearts.

Caitlin:

No matter what this season brings for you. Remember that it also brings a Savior to every single one of us. And with a Savior comes hope eternal. So I'm going to close this out with a really short prayer that is designed for those who are struggling. So it could be that you are struggling in the sense that you feel powerless right now. Maybe you feel really frustrated. Maybe you feel like you're at the end of your rope or overwhelmed by what all the holidays will bring. So it could be that you're struggling mentally. It could be that you're struggling emotionally, maybe physically. Maybe you're dealing with an illness and you don't know how you're going to make it to the next day. Or you're worried about what foods you'll be able to eat on the Christmas table. Fill in your own needs. It's not a specific Christmas prayer, but I do find it to be helpful and a reminder that wherever you are, whatever your scenario is, God can and will work in the midst of it. Pray with me. "This is another day. Oh Lord, I know not what it will bring forth, but make me ready for whatever it may be. If I'm to stand up, help me to stand bravely. If I'm to sit still, help me to sit quietly. If I'm to lie low, help me to do it patiently. And if I'm to do nothing, help me to do it gallantly. Make these words more than words and give me the spirit of Jesus. Amen."

Caitlin:

As always, listeners, thanks for listening as we continue to explore together what it means to be woven well. Merry Christmas!