Ep. 61: Client Story - Carsyn
Caitlin Estes:
Welcome to the Woven Well Podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Estes. I'm a certified fertility care practitioner with a master divinity degree. Each episode will cover a topic that helps educate and empower you and your fertility while honoring the deep connection your fertility has with your faith. Let's get started.
Caitlin Estes:
Welcome back to the Woven Well podcast. I believe that a part of empowering and educating women is connecting them with other women on the same journey. That's why we have episodes devoted to hearing the fertility journey of a woman who is a part of woven whatever your situation or fertility goal, the fertility journey can sometimes feel isolating, but I assure you there's a whole community of women out there asking the same questions you are, and Carsyn is a great example of that. I began working with Carsyn and her then fiance Chase several years ago as they were preparing for marriage. Since then, I've had the privilege of walking through a lot of life with them as it relates to their beautiful family, and I'm excited to get to introduce her to you all. Carsyn, thanks so much for being on with us today.
Carsyn:
Hi. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Caitlin Estes:
I'm excited too. And I think a great way to get started would be to simply hear how did you hear about Creighton and what was it that interested you the most about it?
Carsyn:
I don't even know when the first time I heard about Creighton or Natural family Planning, it almost felt like it kind of just fell into my lap and it was just something we started doing. Um, so Chase and I are both practicing Catholics and in the Catholic faith we don't use any form of artificial birth control. And so when we got engaged, I was kind of almost taken aback of, oh, okay, I didn't realize that this is a serious, you know, teaching that we don't use birth control and so what are we supposed to do? And I guess Chase had kind of known a little bit more about it than I had and knew a couple who had worked with you actually and recommended you to us. And we kind of got the ball rolling.
Caitlin Estes:
I love by the way, that it was Chase that knew a little bit more than you did about it and got you connected .
Carsyn:
No. Yeah, it was so funny. It was so funny. Um, I actually had been on birth control like in high school and then a little bit throughout college and I just randomly had stopped taking it. It was giving me, you know, just some crazy side effects and, and I never understood what the other option was. And so I'm like, well, what do you do about painful periods? And if you need to avoid pregnancy or, whatever it is, I didn't know much about about it. And Chase seemed to know a little bit more about it.
Caitlin Estes:
Yes, I think that's a great reminder that we think it's just women who are talking about these things, but men are talking about it too. So it is happening. That's great. So for a lot of couples, we think about it, this being a female thing, but Creighton's a little bit different here, so that's why it's so fitting that he's the one that told you about it. So I'm curious, has it been a system that you all can use together as a team?
Carsyn:
Yes, absolutely. So one of the things that I loved and we were very adamant about during our engagement as we were learning about Creighton and preparing for marriage was Chase was on every single meeting call with us. He never missed a meeting call because it was so important to him also to us, for him to be a part of that. In marriage, you are called to be completely known by each other and completely open and honest. And that is including your, your fertility, the women's fertility. And the more that we dove into it and learned more about ourselves and about what our call to marriage looked like, we knew that okay, this is something that we need to share together. We're going to share our finances, we're going to share our living space. We're going to share absolutely everything. And so we have to be able to share our conversations about my fertility, his fertility, and he will, you know, becausehe can't make those observations for me. So one way . That's right. So one way that he's involved with it is just marking my chart. And then that's a, that's a great visual for him. Um, and so it's like he knows my body just as much as I know my body. And that's such a beautiful thing for, for our marriage. And it's just impacted the conversations that we have about our family planning.
Caitlin Estes:
Absolutely. And that is so beautiful that he can understand and you can understand, and there's a part of it that you don't even have to have these direct conversations. You both understand where you are in your cycle. You both understand if you as a couple are fertile or infertile, and then you're making those decisions together. So I'm curious, how has that influenced your conversations about intimacy, about family planning or has it influenced it?
Carsyn:
I know Chase will say the same thing, that it's very cool for him to see the process that my body takes every single month. And so, again, like I mentioned, we know where we're at in my cycle. And so that's a conversation that we can have every single day if we want to. Okay. I'm saying peak type mucus today. Are we in a place where we need to be avoiding being physically intimate right now? Um, and if so, okay, what are some ways that we can, we can be emotionally intimate? And so it's been very beautiful for us to look at that together rather than me just telling Chase. But he can notice that too, and we can kind of, he can even prompt those conversations too. It doesn't always, it's not always me.
Caitlin Estes:
That equality in the process, that constant reminder that you all are both making these decisions, both coming before the Lord in discerning your next steps and choosing even the very practical details of who charts and how do you do all of that. But then those bigger conversations about what is our pregnancy intention this month? Is it to avoid pregnancy? Is it to achieve pregnancy? Which I think is just a beautiful thing and I appreciate you sharing that.
Carsyn:
One thing I also want to add is, you know, before coming into marriage and engagement, I, I guess really in my life I never had had it modeled to me what it looked like to talk about your intimacy and your family planning with your spouse. Sure. I know that when we were doing Creighton because and just our learning experience with you, you were very encouraging of, okay, talk about your family goals, you know, talk about your fertility, talk about what you're seeing in your cycle. And so that is just open the door for us to have just such meaningful and open conversations just so much more than I initially had thought coming into marriage. Having that trust with each other and that openness with each other has allowed for such deep prayer too, of like, okay, Lord, we trust your plan for our family. You know, if you desire to give us a child this month, you will. And that might be hard for us in this moment. It might not, but we just, we trust you. We know that you're good. You work all things out for our good. It's just open the door for such a deep prayer and deep trust in the Lord.
Caitlin Estes:
To me that sounds like you are constantly bringing it before the Lord, talking together as a couple and trusting that you have decisions that you can make, but ultimately God is the creator of all life. I think that is beautiful because everyone has their own fertility journey. It looks different for each and every couple. But one of the things that's the same is that kind of unity, that kind of openness to conversation together, openness even to life and that possibility and openness to God as God leads through these different seasons. So I think that's a great example of how that may look in your particular life and how that may be similar to some other people who are listening who are wondering, okay, how restrictive is Creighton? And the answer is, you get to make it what you want it to be.
Carsyn:
Absolutely. It's exactly what you, you make it. And that's what's so beautiful about it is, you know, it's just you, you and your spouse get to make that decision every single day. That's right. If you want to,
Caitlin Estes:
Do you feel like Creighton has helped you learn anything about yourself too?
Carsyn:
So one thing that we have learned actually is, okay, so when starting Creighton and you know, as we had talked with you and learned more about my cycle and details maybe indicated that I was kind of low on progesterone. And so we're like, okay, we'll we'll watch out for that. Well, shortly after we were married, we got pregnant, which was just, we were so overjoyed, we were just over the moon. Um, and I didn't really, I mean, it's first, first time mom, first time pregnancy, you don't really know what to do. And so I didn't really think to maybe go get lab work done, but we had ended up miscarrying and I had kind of just had this feeling. I'm like, well, I remember Caitlin kind of mentioned that maybe I was low on progesterone. Well, there's nothing we can do about it now. So maybe next time if we, you know, God willing we get pregnant again, maybe that's something that I can, you know, monitor a little bit more.
Carsyn:
So we actually got pregnant a month later with our daughter Cecilia. We are so excited again. And so I called like literally the day I, I took a pregnancy test. I was like, I, I want to get in. And of course most OB offices are like, we are not going to see you until, you know, eight to 10 weeks. And I said, no, I, I want to get in now. So I got checked and my progesterone was very, very low. They're like, oh my gosh. Wow. And that's what you need to maintain a, you know, a healthy pregnancy. That's right. So I, they put me on progesterone supplements and ended up carrying Cecilia to term, which was just amazing. We love her so much. But I just always think about that. I'm like, if I had not been doing Creighton and listening and observing the signs that God was giving me, what, what could have happened? I mean, may maybe everything would've been fine. We don't know that. But you know, if I was low on progesterone, who's to say that we wouldn't have miscarried again? You know,
Caitlin Estes:
It sounds like you felt empowered about your body and the best way for it to function. And I love that. I'm so glad that Creighton provided that for you. I truly believe that God wants us to learn about our bodies. You know, God made our bodies and they are beautiful things. And I do think that it is possible for God to communicate with us even in that sort of a way.
Carsyn:
Yeah. And it was, it was just so, yeah, like you said, empowering to go into the doctor's office and know what I was talking about because no one knows your body like, you know, your body, no matter how many doctors think they know your body, like you know your body, they don't, you know, and you, God has given you the intuition to be informed and to inform others. And so I, I felt very empowered going in saying, Hey, I need you to check this. You know, I know what's going on. You know, my husband and I, we do natural family planning. Like, you don't know what, what's going on
Caitlin Estes:
With me. You tell 'em Carsyn, you tell 'em!
Carsyn:
That's like my biggest flex when I go into a doctor's office. My husband and I use natural family planning, I'm very informed.
Caitlin Estes:
Oh, I love that so much. Oh, that's great. Well, and it is such a countercultural message because you just said it's your flex. Like that's what you use to say, Hey, this is what I have. But for so many people, they think it's a weakness. They assume that it's not helpful or not accurate, but your experience has been completely the opposite of that.
Carsyn:
Hmm. I mean, I think that the world, there's such a, just this cultural idea that women's fertility, um, particularly is something that just needs to be fixed, needs to be covered up, that your fertility is such a burden. Mm-hmm. because, um, you know, oh gosh, you're able to carry life. Gosh, that, that sucks for you. You know, that's, that's been my experience of, you know, just society, how, how it's portrayed women's fertility. Yeah. But the more that I've, the more I've become more involved with my faith and practiced my faith and spent more time in prayer and just been more involved with Creighton. I, that, that couldn't be further from the truth. I mean, the Lord is so good and he is so detailed in how he created women and he, he didn't make our fertility that, that something that needs to be fixed. He made it the way he made it for a reason.
Carsyn:
He's so many working parts and he gives us the natural signs to tell us, Hey, some something's off here, you know? Yes. Let's go get something checked out. Let's, he gives us the natural sign to tell us when we're fertile. I don't know, I just, I just wish more women understood that your body, your fertility is not something that needs to be covered up. It's not something for you to be embarrassed about. You know, I've heard so many, so many women who even maybe in their marriages are just don't have these conversations with their spouses and maybe are embarrassed to have these conversations. Like that's just, your fertility is good, you know, and you deserve to be fully known and the Lord wants that for you. And he wants, he wants your fertility to be loved just as much as he loves it, you know? Yeah,
Caitlin Estes:
Yeah. I'm thinking about the people, people who could be listening who think about getting off of birth control because it's very common to be on birth control for lots of reasons, whether it's health reasons or pregnancy intentions, those kind of things. Yeah. But it feels really scary to think about getting off of birth control. That is a terrifying thought for a lot of reasons, because now, we've talked about today that, you know, Creighton is certainly effective and it helps you get to the root cause of those health issues. It helps you to feel empowered and informed and all those things. But that doesn't mean that it's not scary to do that when all most of us have heard is how birth control is the only option that works. We know that's not true, but that's all we've heard, right? Like you mentioned. Right. So if you were talking to those women, what advice would you offer?
Carsyn:
I was in your shoes. It was very scary to get off birth control because I had, I had such painful periods and my gosh, I don't want to, I don't want to go back to this, but I just, one birth control was making me feel very yucky. Um, so if that's you, that is not how you're supposed to feel. You know, I, I encourage you to, to seek other options to improve your quality of life. But yes, it can be extremely scary because that is the only option presented to us. When you go to the doctor, you're supposed to trust them and they prescribe you birth control. And I just want all these women to know that there are other people out there too who desire to help you and desire and desire to get to the root cause. Okay. Why are you having painful periods? Why are you having such, you know, intense PMs symptoms? That's, you know, that's not normal. There is something underlying that deserves attention. It doesn't deserve to just be covered up like a Band-Aid. And I know it can be scary, but if you are thinking about it, I, I think that that is the voice of God, the voice of Holy Spirit pressing at your natural feminine intuition that the Lord has given you, saying, Hey, I'm not going to abandon you in your fertility journey. There are other options. And just, and just trust me. You know, just have faith.
Carsyn:
He understands you're scared, but God has given you that intuition and he has blessed the earth with so many good people who want to help you and want to get to your underlying root causes.
Caitlin Estes:
That's right. They're out there. They're out there.
Carsyn:
They're out there they are. You gotta search a little bit, but they're out there.
Caitlin Estes:
Oh, beautifully said, Carsyn. Beautifully said. And I want to thank you so much for being on today and sharing your story, your experience with Creighton and what it's meant to you and your husband.
Carsyn:
It's been great. Thank you so much for having me.
Caitlin Estes:
Absolutely. Our woven community, both here on the podcast and all those who are a part of woven natural fertility care, they honestly make it a pretty special place. We ask honest questions about our fertility and about our faith. We believe that our bodies were made with beauty and purpose, that we are intimately designed and loved by our creator, and that fertility plays a meaningful role in our lives. I would love for you to be a part of that community. Our website at wovenfertility.com has tons of free resources and a way to sign up for our newsletter. That's a great way to hear from me and woven just once a month. But if you're feeling ready to get started and use Creighton for your health and your marriage like Carsyn has, then I want to invite you to our next introductory session. This is the perfect way to learn more and get started with Creighton. You can register@wovenfertility.com slash join us, or click on the link in our show notes. We are so glad you are with us today, and thanks so much for listening as we continue to explore together what it means to be woven well.