Ep. 96: Theological Considerations with IVF
Caitlin:
Welcome to the Woven Well Podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Estes. I'm a certified fertility care practitioner with a master of divinity degree. Each episode will cover a topic that helps educate and empower you and your fertility, while honoring the deep connection your fertility has with your faith. Let's get started. Welcome back to the Woven Well Podcast. We talk about some tricky topics as it relates to fertility and reproductive health, and that's okay. I'm fine with that. I think as Christians, we are invited to wade into these topics with curiosity and openness to how God may be leading us. And lately there have been some requests for conversations about IVF. If you're unfamiliar with IVF, it's a process in which eggs are harvested from a female, and sperm are collected from a male and then they are fertilized outside of the body in a more medical environment.
Caitlin:
And then once those embryos are created, then the embryos are placed back into a woman to potentially implant and then carry on a pregnancy. So this is a big topic when it comes to the world of fertility and growing our families, especially as infertility continues to rise in our world. IVF is often portrayed as kind of the obvious answer to infertility and pregnancy loss. Women and couples are told that this is their way to have a successful pregnancy, and it is very tempting to walk that path when it's put before us and really not think about it much at all. But I think that anyone with an ethical or religious background would say that there are some challenges worth considering when it comes to IVF, specifically. Now for Christians, specifically, when we make decisions, we don't just consider the physical or emotional or mental consequences, but we also think about the theological considerations.
Caitlin:
We pray about our decisions. We seek God, we enter into discernment within our faith community. We try to leave ourselves open to the guidance of the Spirit, and we should do those same things when it comes to fertility issues and family planning. Now, that doesn't mean that all Christians are going to end up in the same place. There is such a variety. And so I hope that all listeners feel that this is a safe place to ponder together and authentically wrestle with some of these things as a community, because they are deeply meaningful to us. Infertility is hard. Pregnancy loss is painful. And not only is it difficult to walk this journey in the first place, but then to feel like your options are limited in some way or everybody has an opinion on them, that's painful in and of itself. So that's why I think it's really important to have this kind of discernment within a safe community of faith with those who know and love you as you love and seek the Lord together.
Caitlin:
So personally I prefer to have these conversations more one-on-one because they allow us to have that sort of authentic connection and conversation. But I realize that there's a time and a place for more general conversation, and that's the goal of today, specifically the theological considerations. Now, there are lots of places online that you could read about the stats and the benefits, the details of IVF. We are not going to go into any of that today. A quick online search is going to pull up a million sites for you, but not nearly as many of them are going to talk about some theological considerations. Which is probably why people have requested that we talk about them here. So we're just going to talk about a few because there are so many different angles that we could talk about this topic and any others when considering theological things. But I'd like to start off with what may be the most commonly acknowledged theological challenge with IVF. And that relates to the sanctity of human life.
Caitlin:
So like I mentioned earlier, during IVF, eggs are harvested from women and sperm collected from men, and then those sperm are used to fertilize eggs, sometimes directly through injections, sometimes not, in order to create an embryo. Now, once this embryo is created, a new life is created. From that point some will grow, some will not. Some will then continue to grow, some will not. Some will grow normally; some will grow abnormally. But they are all embryos. And for Christians who believe that life begins at conception, they are all image bearers of God, worthy of respect and dignity. So whether we want to acknowledge it or not, IVF is a multi-billion dollar industry that has resulted in the loss of millions of developing lives. And this is not including like early miscarriages where an embryo was transferred into a woman and it did not implant.
Caitlin:
No, this is simply the embryos that were created as a byproduct of the process or left unused after a couple has had the number of children that they desire. Millions of lives lost. It also does not include the number of lives that are currently frozen or in storage for potential use later. It's difficult to ignore this reality. Again, as Christians who believe that life begins at conception, we have to consider this. Even for couples who commit to transferring all of their embryos or only creating three embryos or any other scenario that you want to come up with. Are there theological concerns with being an active part of this industry in any way? That's something that we have to wrestle with and think about. Another theological consideration is how it affects our understanding of the gift of children. So the radical change in how children are created can have an effect on this.
Caitlin:
Before IVF became a common part of our culture, Christians knew and embraced that children were a gift from the Lord. Parents could only pray that they were blessed with children through the expression of that marital act of love. It was never a promise, never a right, always a gift. Think about biblical examples of Hannah and Sarah and others who were barren and desperately desiring to have children. It was nothing that they could control. They could do their part, but they knew that these children were a gift and a blessing from God. They also had no control over the gender or health or chromosomal makeup of their children, right? Before IVF, those things were simply not possible. We just knew that regardless of a child's makeup, they were simply loved and cherished and worthy of life. This is especially true for Christians who have fought for the sanctity of human life, regardless of what that life looks like for a long time.
Caitlin:
So humans that are born with mental delays or physical handicaps are just as important, just as valued as anyone else. IVF tempts us to question these things. And that may be painful to think about, but it's important to consider. It's now common in the IVF industry to test all embryos for chromosomal abnormalities. And because abnormal embryos are less likely to be successful, couples are encouraged not to use them. Remember, each attempt costs roughly $10,000. It's not really something that you want to be unsuccessful. So the pressure is great. And with continued research in artificial reproductive technologies, these chromosomal tests are only going to get more specific and more pervasive. I think that IVF opens the door to prioritizing some lives over others. It begins to convince us that healthy babies are more important or worth more than unhealthy ones. This is something that we really have to wrestle with.
Caitlin:
And I think that this, I think about couples who genuinely are simply looking for ways to explain their unexplained infertility and how quickly they unintentionally get to the point where they're considering donor eggs from other women or sperm from other men or surrogacy for embryos or anything else that they're told is now necessary in order to result in a live pregnancy. It is a surprisingly short journey from "why can't we get pregnant" to "I guess this is what it takes." These are incredibly difficult conversations to have because I've worked with couples who were told by reproductive endocrinologists that if they didn't do IVF, they had a 2% chance of having children biologically. And that makes you feel desperate. And desperation leads to decisions, and many couples are faced with scenarios that they never dreamed possible. This is why it's important that we consider these theological aspects now, that we think through them and stay open to God's leading and come to a place that we feel very much at peace with where God is inviting us to go, no one else.
Caitlin:
Another theological consideration is how this affects our understanding of the relationship between sex and babies. And we've talked about the unique relationship between sex and babies. We can't deny it. We can't separate it. Sex begets babies. But what if it doesn't? What about the couples who try for years to have a baby and it doesn't happen? What's the purpose then? Well, the purpose never changes. Scripture shows us that there are unique gifts to the union of man and woman: their intimacy and bonding, that, think about Song of Solomon; there's the procreation of children, which we read about in Genesis; there's the testimony that it displays of the relationship between Christ and the Church, which we read about in Ephesians. So just because pregnancy doesn't result from sex doesn't remove it as a part of its function and purpose. No wonder though, that we would feel deep pain when this natural relationship is broken.
Caitlin:
Just as men and women would love to separate sex from babies when they're trying to avoid pregnancy. It is equally as tempting to want to separate these two when we want to conceive a pregnancy. But does it matter? Is it okay to try to conceive a baby without sex. For the larger Christian Church, this is where the jury is still out. Now there are very strong opinions on both sides. There is a lot to consider. There's church history, there's tradition, there's different church fathers and mothers and theological thinkers and scripture and all these very, very important things that go into it. That would probably be a podcast series. To me, I think it comes down to the purposes of sex and marriage and family. God did something very intentional in their design. They all point us back to God. So could changing these things also change where they point us? I think it's likely and that's significant.
Caitlin:
This stuff is tricky. Okay? I am not claiming to be an expert on ethics or theology, especially when it comes to topics that are so complex like IVF. But what I do know is that it is worth it to think these things through together, ideally within a Christian community. Because we can't figure it out on our own, we have to include all those resources that I just talked about, as we are prayerfully and openly discerning with God the direction that God would have for us. Our next theological consideration is about how this affects our idea of living with suffering. This may be an unexpected one. You may not have thought that I'd be talking about that as we were pondering IVF. But we live in a world full of messages about what life is about and how to live it well. Our culture has opinions on everything.
Caitlin:
You know, sex--why not have more? Suffering--why not have less? And everything in between. When it comes to suffering, our world feels especially confused as to why we wouldn't want to avoid it at all costs. But as Christians, we have a much broader understanding of suffering. First of all, as humans living in a broken world, we know that we're not exactly choosing the pain. It's just a part of reality. Secondly, we can see and experience it totally differently because we have a God who lived it firsthand, one who shed blood and wept and cried out in agony. We know that suffering is never the end. And while it can be painful, it can also be purposeful. We know we can't truly escape it, but we also know that God is always going to meet us in it and provide a way forward with comfort and peace and even joy.
Caitlin:
Our God's not going to abandon us when we're suffering, but walk with us through it. And this is critical because IVF is often presented as a way to get around this pain and suffering. So, okay, for anyone who has walked through IVF or journeyed with someone who has, you know that IVF is not a painless process, but it's promoted as a way to bypass a much deeper pain, the loss of the family you've dreamed of. With God, we don't have to fear this pain and avoid it at all costs because we know that God will meet us there with steadfast love and faithfulness. Which leads us to our final theological consideration for today, which comes from John 15:13. No one has greater love than this to lay down his life for his friends. Christians know all about the importance of laying down our life for another, right?
Caitlin:
It's the greatest form of love. It was demonstrated to us by Jesus. And there are no humans more willing to do this than mothers and women who desire to be. I have seen the willingness of women to go through absolutely anything to make pregnancy or parenthood a reality. They will endure any painful procedure, any regimen of testing, any schedule of medications and supplements and injections. They will miss work and then make up for it on the weekends or the evenings. They will cancel plans and vacations. They will put years of their lives on hold to pursue this. They will travel across the globe. They will jump through any hoop. After all, there is no greater love than this, right? We think that this is what it means to lay down our life: procedures and lab draws, plans, appointments, whatever it takes. But could it be that God is inviting us to lay down our life, our deepest dreams and desires for our family and our future, and follow Him?
Caitlin:
I realize that's a more terrifying thought. That doesn't make it easier. It makes it harder. What if all you've ever wanted is what you'll never get? What happens to your relationship with God if you're denied what you thought you were promised? But friends, God will give us the desires of our hearts. When our hearts desire him. God will continue to be good. He will continue to pour out his steadfast love and faithfulness regardless of what the future holds. And it will be so incredibly worth it, a journey that in the end you would trade for nothing. We can trust God with our lives. We can trust God with our fertility. We can trust God with our family. We can trust God with our future. This is why these theological conversations matter. We get caught up in the details, in the end goal, in the process, and we miss the invitation to more. Regardless of where you end up, God wants to meet you right here and right now. I think that when it comes to infertility, we're kind of sold IVF as our last hope, when it's Jesus that's always been our only hope. So as you consider your next steps in infertility or loss, or you're preparing to travel that road with friends or family, I hope that you'll prayerfully consider these things and that you'll be fully open to God in this season, wherever it may take you. I fully believe that God will meet you there, lovingly, compassionately and God will be guiding you faithfully, confidently, and joyfully. Also, I have to say it, IVF is not the only option for having children if you're facing infertility. Okay? I will link our episodes on IVF alternatives and also adoption in today's show notes to help you explore some of those other options out there. Thanks for pondering these things with me, for asking me to share these thoughts with you. I know it's challenging, but I hope that they are helpful as you prayerfully discern your future. If I can be a support to you in any way, I'd love to. You can reach out to me through our website at wovenfertility.com and let me know your theological considerations when you're discerning your fertility treatments. As always, thanks for listening as we continue to explore together what it means to be woven well.