Ep. 55: Client Story - Lauren
Caitlin Estes:
Welcome to the Woven Well podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Estes. I'm a certified fertility care practitioner with a master of divinity degree. Each episode will cover a topic that helps educate and empower you and your fertility while honoring the deep connection your fertility has with your faith. Let's get started.
Caitlin Estes:
Welcome back to the Woven Well Podcast. I believe that a part of empowering and educating women is connecting them with other women on the same journey. That's why we'll sometimes have episodes devoted to hearing the fertility journey of a woman who's a part of woven. Whatever your situation or fertility goal, it can sometimes feel like an isolating journey, but there is a whole community of women out there asking the same questions You are. Lauren is one of those women! I began working with Lauren several years ago as she and her husband were preparing for marriage. That's right, they were engaged at the time. She'd been charting with Creighton for knowledge of her cycle, but wanted to start using it for family planning purposes after marriage. So Lauren, thank you so much for being on with us today.
Lauren:
Thank you so much for having me. I'm honored that you wanted to hear my story today.
Caitlin Estes:
And I'm excited for you to share it. So to help listeners to get to know you a bit, why don't you tell us a little bit about your family?
Lauren:
Yes, absolutely. So my husband and I met in college at Auburn University. I like to break this down by months because I think it's kind of funny when you hear it play by play. So we got married in January of 2020. Our beautiful daughter was born in November of 2020. We found out we were having twins in October of 2021. So we were holding our 11 month old and the boys were born in March of 2022, a little bit early. And then we just celebrated our third wedding anniversary this month. So it has been a crazy journey, but we love our family so, so much. It is a privilege and I would say it's a joy most days to get to stay at home with my kids. Some days I'm like counting down the minutes until Patrick comes home to come save the day. And a little bit more. We enjoy hanging out with friends. We host a ton. When you have a lot of little kids it's just easier to have people to you. So we like to have an open door policy at our house.
Caitlin Estes:
Oh, that's so great. Yeah. It has been a whirlwind over the last three years!
Lauren:
For sure.
Caitlin Estes:
And it's been so fun. I've had the privilege of working with you all, you know, you and your husband from the time you were engaged through that early marriage through now having three young children, three kids in three years, that's quite a feat. But what first made you interested in using the Creighton method for family planning?
Lauren:
So I, when I was 18 years old, I was diagnosed in air quotes with endometriosis based off of my symptoms. And some family history. I was put on birth control but I knew pretty quickly into that that that was not a long term fix for me. I definitely didn't want to bring that into marriage. And then a friend from church told me about Creighton and how Creighton had helped her navigate P C O S. I got off of birth control and I waited six months to even meet with a practitioner or start charting because I wanted to give my body some time to regulate. And I was shocked that it took even longer than that for my cycle to regulate after being on birth control for only three years. I started learning Creighton, loved it. And then when Patrick and I got engaged, he got to join in on all the fun. So he came to all the meetings and learned a ton. Our college friends laughed that Patrick knew more about their bodies than they did as women. And we halfway laughed but thought it was kind of sad, too.
Caitlin Estes:
That's so true.
Lauren:
So engaged, learning it together, married, practiced family planning for a short time and then dove right into pregnancy. So I would definitely say Creighton has seen me through a lot of life with single, engaged and learning together, married, pregnant ,postpartum. Yes. And doing it all over again.
Caitlin Estes:
You know, in the intro session we'll often talk about how Creighton can be used throughout your whole reproductive life and through all the reproductive stages. And you have proved that in three years.
Lauren:
All the stages.
Caitlin Estes:
You've used it for health, you've used it for family planning, you've avoided pregnancy, you've achieved pregnancy, you've been postpartum, you've done it all, which is great. And now when Patrick got involved, you mentioned that he was learning everything and he knew more than other people sometimes. But what did he think about the idea of using Creighton for family planning?
Lauren:
He loved it. I have always heard, you know, like if he has sisters, like he knows more about women and he does, he has great sisters, but still there's no level of knowledge about the women's body that you can get prior to doing a course like Creighton. Yes. Even as a woman, it takes me aback, and he loved it and was totally on board with it. He loved that it supported my natural body and wasn't pumping it with artificial hormones and I could be myself throughout the whole process.
Caitlin Estes:
Yeah. Yeah. Well that's great and I'm glad to hear that too. So after you were married, you've already mentioned kind of what your journey looked like, but how did you all even approach the idea of growing your family?
Lauren:
We have always wanted a big family. I remember praying when we were engaged that we would have a big family. And now I think about that and laugh because I had no idea that it would look like this at all. But we got married and we wanted to wait a couple months and once we got into marriage and we're practicing, we, it's a continual process of talking to each other about what our purpose is and what our plan is this month. And we, I remember talking and we said, so what's our reason right now? And our reason, my reason was to prove that we could do it, to prove that we can avoid pregnancy. And we kinda laughed and thought, is that a good enough reason? And it just didn't feel like it. We trusted Creighton and so, we were open to life and what that brought and it brought our daughter shortly after.
Lauren:
So our first year of marriage was really fun. He jokes that he didn't even know of not pregnant Lauren his first year of marriage, but after we had our daughter, I would say that was the biggest discernment process because when you're holding a newborn crying baby that doesn't sleep, you look at each other and you're kind of scared thinking we can't do this again right now. We have got to wait. And so we did. We planned on waiting and then the next thing you know she's sleeping through the night, taking two naps a day. I'm still at home and we just think that we can handle two under two. We're like, we can do it. We wanted a big family. Kolbe Ann needs a buddy. And we found out we were having twins. And so we got three 16 months and under, which was way more than we planned, but it just kind of felt like a pat on the back from the Lord. And so that just kind of affirmed that as long as we're being prayerful and communicating with one another and really thinking about what's best for our family at that time, then he's not going to lead us astray and that our family will be blessed for that.
Caitlin Estes:
One of my favorite parts about that story is how open you all were in communication with each other, constantly checking in, constantly interested in how the other person felt and really evaluating on a month to month basis where you felt called. Because obviously there were months where you were absolutely saying, God is calling us to avoid pregnancy this month and we are very grateful. But as soon as you felt that hint of, you know what, we think we're open, we think we're ready again, you all were free to respond to that. And even though you didn't expect twins, you were expecting that God would be present in that change of intention. And not only that change of intention, but each month as you all were being prayerful together about what that intention was. So I love that because I always want to encourage couples to have that kind of freedom because you may start off in marriage and think, Hmm, we're going to avoid pregnancy for, I don't know, three years. I'm just making something up. But if six months in your hearts change and you feel like God's inviting you to grow your family, you can respond. You mentioned yourself, you were on hormonal contraception for you know, period pain and that's those sort of things. And when you came off you thought I'll give it six months to get back to normal. And it took you even longer than that. So for those who are hoping to conceive a pregnancy and they're on birth control, when they finally get off of that and they think, oh well, we'll just immediately try to conceive. Sometimes it's a lot longer of a journey.
Lauren:
I completely agree. I think the response time and being open to changing your plan and it's just a decision between you and your spouse that you can make. You don't have to wait on a doctor to sign off on it. You can change your plan and follow that.
Caitlin Estes:
Absolutely. Now did you all were communicating together, were you all sharing the process of using Creighton together?
Lauren:
Yes. And I think where, where the spouse comes in handy is recognizing symptoms that I don't recognize that I'm having. He's like, isn't it about three weeks ago that you were cramping too? Like didn't, don't you remember that? And whereas I've already forgotten, you know, the days have flown by, he's like, no, you had a headache yesterday too. And so I feel like the spouse is really good at picking up on those types of things or mood shifts where they can recognize that in a more um, calendar way where sometimes as women we're just so used to it, we ignore it. I feel like that's where our husband's coming handy.
Caitlin Estes:
That's a very good point. That is absolutely a good point. So some people may look at your family and see three kids under 16 months and think that actually shows me that Creighton is not effective for avoiding pregnancy. But clearly by what you've just said, that's not the case. When you look at your family, what does that represent to you?
Lauren:
We laugh about that all the time because obviously I'm a big advocate of Creighton. I love it. So I recommend it to a ton of people and I feel like I have to give a little elevator pitch as to why it works even though it doesn't look like it based off of my family. What I point out: It's just really good for a woman's health to know what's going on with your body. Even with me being pregnant and postpartum, pregnant and postpartum again, it's so good for me to chart during those times to see what's happening with my hormones. So I think it's good just for your overall help as well. But whenever I'm talking to someone and explaining, you know, why you see so many families who use Creighton or another natural family planning method have so many kids, I say it's really because one, you see your fertility as a gift and not a burden.
Lauren:
Sometimes other methods just make it feel like a burden that needs to be hidden or taken away. And two, like we mentioned before, Creighton is an open and frequent dialogue with your spouse. It's constant. And I feel like when you have those two things, it will naturally soften your heart to children if that's what you and your spouse are ready for. If you value your fertility and see it as such a gift and you're talking about it all the time, it just leads you to that again, if that's what you and your family are called to at that time. And I just say too, it's a tool. It doesn't dictate your marriage, it's not a partner in your relationship. It's you and your husband and then Creighton is a tool for you to use when you need it.
Caitlin Estes:
Love talking about Creighton as a tool because you always have it, but it's not a third party in your marriage. That's a, that's a really good point. So when you think about your family, you chose, you all were open during those months to conceiving. It wasn't like, oh, Creighton didn't work. You changed your intention to be open to that and you did a beautiful job of explaining why. I think a lot of times people see larger families or families who are the children are close together and assume it was an accident. You know, assume it wasn't planned. But you just explained so beautifully how sometimes thinking about this and praying about this can result in more openness and it's not an accident. It is a choice. It is an openness to life in general. And I also so appreciate how you said if you are called to that because every couple's journey is different, every couple's calling as far as family size and makeup is different. And we honor that. We respect that. But the similarity is that communication, that prayerful perspective and the intimacy that it can provide within marriage.
Lauren:
Absolutely. And I think each couple just has to discern for themselves. It's so easy to listen to society or family members or what we think our life should look like, but as long as we're a talking with our spouse asking what is best and holies for our family at this moment, not in the future, not what happened last year, but at this moment was our family called to. Um, that has always helped kind of guide us on where we need to be going.
Caitlin Estes:
Lauren, I appreciate so much you sharing, but my last question is if there are any young women or couples who are listening who may be considering natural family planning for their marriage, what would you say to them?
Lauren:
I would definitely say that your marriage will flourish. And I know it's hard for me to speak since we've only used Creighton throughout our marriage, so it's hard to speak without. But I have just seen in our own marriage, our communication thrives through trusting each other to be honest with one another and working alongside each other to make big life decisions like we talked about earlier. Patrick is super involved, which is crucial because you're prioritizing your help, honoring your cycle, but you're doing it alongside your spouse, which is such a blessing. And I would also say that since you view fertility as a blessing through that, you can see children as a blessing. And just for us, we have only seen our children add to our marriage. So many people, people think once you have kids your marriage dies or you just lose that spark.
Lauren:
And that is just so not the case. I remember the day Kolbe Ann was born and loved the little nug, but the memory that stands out to me the most is I was holding her for the first time and the look Patrick gave me is imprinted in my mind forever. It was a look of understanding. He looked like he was proud of me in a new way. And I have just seen that look so many more times after that and that I had never seen throughout dating engaged our newlywed lovey dovey. I had never seen a look like that before. And so I would just encourage anyone who's listening to this to not be afraid of your own fertility or afraid of what could come from that. And just be open to what the Lord has in store for your marriage.
Caitlin Estes:
Hmm. Beautifully said. What wonderful words. Well, Lauren, thank you so much for taking the time to share your story and your heart behind your use with Creighton. We appreciate it.
Lauren:
Thank you so much.
Caitlin Estes:
So our woven community both here on the podcast and all those who are a part of woven natural fertility care, they make it a pretty special place. We ask honest questions of our fertility and our faith. We believe that our bodies were made with beauty and purpose, that we are intimately designed and loved by our creator. And that fertility plays a meaningful role in our lives no matter what it looks like. I would love for you to be a part of that community. Our website@wovenfertility.com has tons of free resources and a way to sign up for our newsletter. That's a great way to hear from me and woven once a month. But if you're feeling ready to get started and use Creighton maybe for your health or your marriage like Lauren has, then I want to invite you to our next introductory session. It is the perfect way to learn more and get started with Creighton. You can register for that@wovenfertility.com slash join us. We are so glad you're here with us today and thanks so much for listening as we continue to explore together what it means to be woven well.