Ep. 5: Client Story - Mary
Caitlin Estes:
Welcome to the woven well podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Estes. I'm a certified fertility care practitioner with a master of divinity degree. Each episode will cover a topic that helps educate and empower you and your fertility while honoring the deep connection your fertility has with your faith. Let's get started.
Caitlin Estes:
I believe that an important part of empowering and educating women is to connect them with others on the same journey. That's why we'll sometimes have episodes devoted to hearing the fertility journey of one of the women who are a part of Woven. Whatever your situation or fertility goal, it can sometimes feel isolating. But there's a whole community of women out there asking the same questions you are. That's why I'm really excited to welcome Mary to the podcast today. I've enjoyed working with Mary for several years, and I'm so glad to have her share her story with us today. Mary began using the Creighton method herself early in marriage in 2015, and it's been an important part of her story ever since. She currently lives near DC and has three children, a daughter through adoption and twin sons through Napro support. Welcome, Mary! I'm so glad that you're here and sharing with us today.
Mary :
Hi, thank you. I'm excited to be here.
Caitlin Estes:
You've told me before that you are so grateful that you had the support of Creighton from early on in your marriage. What was it that initially drew you to considering using the Creighton system?
Mary :
Yeah, I think we first heard about Creighton at our church. Our marriage preparation required us to do an engaged encounter retreat. And there was a couple at the retreat who they spoke on just kinda natural family planning in general, but Creighton was a part of that. So I started looking into all the various types of natural family planning and I really loved the simplicity of Creighton that I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to take my temperature or, do some of the other things that may work for some people. But, I just knew that that wouldn't be something that I would keep up with. So anyway, that was initially what drew me to Creighton was I liked that it was, it was simple and there the visual chart and I, I felt like it was something I could do.
Caitlin Estes:
Wonderful. And I love that someone else who worked with that or who practiced Creighton was the one that told you about it, because I find a lot of times it is word of mouth and people just encouraging each other that you can do it, you know? So I'm glad that you felt that way from the start. Now, was it early on in using Creighton that you started noticing some of those cycle issues that you have?
Mary :
It was, yes. So I had my first I guess the introductory meeting with the Creighton practitioner who I was working with at the time. And, at my first follow up, she looked at my chart and said, you know, I think that you might have low progesterone going on here because of some of the different symptoms and some of the markers on my chart. Several years down the road later, I found out that that was, in fact, the case. I did have low progesterone. Yes. There was several other issues that my chart pointed to as well that we began seeing very early on at those those first follow up.
Caitlin Estes:
It's wild that we can see something that quickly and also kind of empowering, because we know we can do something that quickly, you know, with it. But now, you've of course shared your fertility journey with me. And I know the ups and downs that have been a part of that journey, but I would love for you to share a little bit of your story with us and those listening on the episode today.
Mary :
Sure. So, where to start. Ha. As Caitlin just said,we started with Creighton in 2015 and, initially we were using it to avoid just as a form of natural family planning. And after a few years of marriage, we started using Creighton to achieve pregnancy. And after a couple months we just weren't having any luck. And so, luckily because I had been charting for so long, I knew that the days that we were using were the right days that if we were gonna get pregnant, it should have happened. It had been about six months at this point. So at that point, when we kind of thought, okay, there's something something's up here. There's something that we need to look at. I reached out to a NaPro physician in my area. I knew, only knew about Napro because I'd been charting with Creighton. So I was very grateful that I, like I said already, already knew about Napro cause I know so many people that I've kind of shared our story with, that aren't familiar with Napro. So anyway, we saw one Napro doctor for about a year and she found several hormonal issues that I had going on. That was where we got confirmation. I did have low progesterone. Yeah. It turned out I had endometriosis as well. So I worked with her for a little while, and during that time we adopted my daughter. So I do, I have a three year old daughter, who joined our family through adoption and that's a miracle in itself. And, I just, there's so much about our story that I could see God's hand in, or I guess I can see God's hand in now. And at the time it was so hard because anybody who was listening to this who's been through infertility knows what a struggle it is. And sometimes you do feel kind of abandoned by God, but it's just amazing to see how he was there the whole time. So, yeah. Anyway, like I said, we adopted my daughter during that time. But after, after a couple years of working with the first practitioner, we realized I probably needed to be seen by a napro surgeon -- somebody who knew a little, a little bit more about endometriosis specifically. So, I started seeing Dr. Hemphill, Dr. Christine Hemphill, who was up here in Penn at the time. I think she's in South Carolina now. Mm-hmm. She and I had a surgery.
Caitlin Estes:
She is one of the Napro surgical fellows that you're referring to. She does have that extra, additional training and surgical experience. Yeah.
Mary :
Yes, yes. She is just amazing. From my first appointment with her, she immediately started, she had ideas for things that other doctors had never even considered with me or thought of. And so I ended up having a surgery with her, and she diagnosed me with stage three endometriosis. And then I had my follow up surgery with her and we conceived our twins two months after that, completely spontaneously. The shock of my life. I always say finding out about our daughter and the adoption is shock number one, but number two is definitely yes, finding out we conceived twins naturally. So, I will, as I've told you so many times, I will always be so grateful to Creighton and Napro for my baby boys, because without it, I just, I know they wouldn't, they wouldn't be here.
Caitlin Estes:
Yeah. Oh, wonderful. Well, thank you for sharing so much of that. Of course, I've been blessed to be a part of your journey for several years now and have seen just a bit of all that God has done in your life, through your fertility specifically. Of course the reality is, for anyone listening, none of us know what's ahead with our journey in fertility, just like we don't know what's ahead in any aspect of life. But it can be especially difficult in the fertility world because we assume our story is gonna look like everybody else's story. And when it doesn't, that can be really difficult to know how to handle or you know, what even to think about it. So what was it like to walk with God through so many changes and so many unknowns during all those different seasons? You really walked through a lot.
Mary :
Yeah. Like I kind of touched on, there's so many times, I won't speak for everybody, but for me, at least in the infertility journey, where it does feel like God has just left you and all of your friends are getting pregnant and you see all of these, um, everyone around you is getting their, their little tiny blessings. And you're wondering where yours is. It's hard. It's, it's so hard. And so it was important for me to really delve into prayer during that time so that I could feel that I hadn't been abandoned and God hadn't forgotten about me and my prayers were being heard. I just felt like the further I delved into prayer and I started looking into different types of prayer during that time, I started really feeling the closeness with God again. And then, my prayer through our entire four year long infertility journey was always, God, please make abundantly clear to me what our next step should be. And I felt like every time I really prayed that prayer, I would get this overwhelming sense of peace with what we were supposed to do next. Like at one point I, we were trying to decide, do we keep going through all of these different infertility tests and figuring out what to do, or should we move to adoption? I was working as an adoption attorney at that time. So adoption was all over the place. And, my husband and I just, we couldn't decide what route we were supposed to take. And so I ended up leaving the adoption world and I got another job and we moved up to DC and that was still my prayer. And then one day, I got a call out of the blue about a birth mom who was looking for a family that she had very specific criteria for, and my husband and I matched it all. And, we got our baby girl. So anyway, I just feel like my prayer was answered. That God did make it abundantly clear every time I asked and one way or another, he would make it abundantly clear to me what we should do. And, like I said, it was so hard sometimes to feel that I wasn't forgotten, but I really had to hold tight to my faith through all of it.
Caitlin Estes:
Mm. It sounds like as you reached out to God and were open to God's presence in your life, God showed that, you know, God is faithful and present in the midst of all those different changes for you. And I love that. Yes,
Mary :
That is exactly it.
Caitlin Estes:
I love that. Well, thank you so much for being willing, just to share all of this, you know, this story. Every person's story is a vulnerable thing. So it really means a lot to me that you would even be willing to share it, especially here in this kind of format. What advice do you have for others in the midst of their own unique fertility journey? If you could tell 'em anything, what would your advice be?
Mary :
Yeah. Oh, that's tough. There's so many things. I think, I think the number one thing is infertility can just feel so lonely sometimes. Like I said, when you do see everybody around you or what feels like everybody around you having babies or pregnancies... I had a good friend who had also walked the path of infertility and she adopted, and then she had a baby too. So we ended up having a lot in common at the time. We didn't know we were going to have so much in common.
Caitlin Estes:
Oh, God is so good to provide you with that friend! <Laugh>
Mary :
Right. Exactly. I mean, she, she truly was an angel through it all. I really thank God who put her into my life for that reason because he knew I would need her at that time. Mm-hmm But that's, I think, my biggest piece of advice to anybody going through infertility is find somebody who you can confide into and talk to. And if you know anyone who's been through infertility, I'm sure they would be happy to talk to you. Anybody that I've ever met, who they kind of find out about our story, if they've been through infertility, it's almost like an immediate sisterhood. It's a sisterhood nobody wants to be a part of, but you understand what the other person's feeling and just, I think finding that person that you can, like I said, can confide in and talk to and can help you not feel so alone with what you're going through. That would be my biggest piece of advice.
Caitlin Estes:
I love that. And you know, here at woven, we talk about community a lot and how women are a community themselves. And so finding that specific person within your community, within your life, that you can trust with this and you can talk about openly. And sometimes that's a friend that, you know, like you're talking about, somebody you've known for a while. Maybe you see them face to face. Sometimes it's a person that you found through the Instagram community or you know, somebody who shares your same doctor's office that you meet one day in the waiting room. It's amazing how those relationships can pop up. But I love that, even in your own life, you were keeping your eyes open to how God may be providing for you in that moment. Even if it wasn't providing you with a child in that moment, he was providing you with a friend and with that tangible needed support throughout the process. And I love that women are so good at providing support to one another. If we allow ourselves to do it. So, thank you so much for sharing all of that, Mary. I really do appreciate it. And for everyone who's listening, I appreciate you hearing Mary's story today. We really are all in this community together and I hope that you leave today feeling encouraged and hopeful about whatever your personal fertility journey is, remembering that you are not alone. You know, there's so many different stories and so much variety here, but God walks with you faithfully and lovingly through each one of them. Now, if you are listening to this and you're interested in some of the medical support that Mary mentioned, whether that's a Napro trained medical professional, or even a surgical fellow through the Napro program, I encourage you to reach out to us at wovenfertility.com. We'll provide you with available resources in your area so that you can pursue next steps. We're happy to help in any way that we can. So we'll see you next time as we continue to explore together what it means to be woven well.